


Out On Your Own (when you're at your worst)

by orphan_account



Series: The Truth That Hurts [3]
Category: Funhaus (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, F/M, FakeHaus, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Not too graphic of violence, Polyamory, but it is gta based so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21663955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: While on the run from the LSPD on a bad leg, separated from most of his pack and his bondmates and unable to protect himself, James reflects on how he came to fit himself within a crew and balance his alpha urges with the changing dynamics of his crew and pack.
Relationships: Adam Kovic/James Willems, Adam Kovic/Lawrence Sonntag/James Willems, Elyse Willems/James Willems, Lawrence Sonntag/James Willems
Series: The Truth That Hurts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1500620
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	Out On Your Own (when you're at your worst)

The morphine kicks in quicker than James anticipated and now he feels like he’s swimming. Laying on his back in water and just gently bobbing, trying to resist the urge to let it submerge him.

“The doctor will see him in twenty minutes. For now, we’ll just inhibit the pain and try to keep him still so he doesn’t bleed further. Thank you for your patience.”

“Thank you,” Elyse says. Her voice is tight. James hates it when she sounds like that. She shouldn’t have to worry or stress out over him. He’s an adult. He should be able to take care of himself. He should have that control that most alphas have and yet . . .

Here he is with a knife three inches deep into his thigh on a gurney in an overcrowded emergency room because it’s the only option they have if they don’t want to be scoped out by a police cruiser and they don’t want to bring this sort of heat to Omar’s. He doesn’t need any more trouble than they already cause him.

His thigh has been wrapped and swathed in bandages, tight enough where he thinks he feels a heartbeat in his leg. It’s still spotting on the top, but it’s not as bad as it was before, when the blood came gushing out, hot and slippery all over his hands when he tried to stop it.

“Bruce and Matt are at the safehouse,” Elyse says quietly. She’s keeping him updated on the whereabouts of the crew. “Adam and Lawrence are still on the move, but they’re not being tailed. Still checking in though.”

There’d been a raid at their warehouse. Took them by complete surprise. Some crooked cops with a rival gang member acting as an informant. It got ugly. They managed to get out in one piece, but they lost a lot of valuables and information on their next biggest hits. James managed to get a good hit on the informant though, but not before he’d tried to gut him with a knife that was now lodged in his leg.

His thoughts drift a bit until Elyse’s hand is on his arm, keeping him awake. “Where are you at right now?”

“Like an eight,” he says. The pain is still there, but he doesn’t feel as panicked as he did before. Probably because of the morphine.

“Doctor will be here soon and then we’re back on the road, okay? I’ll even let you pick out the tunes.” She smiles at him and he feels himself relax under her gaze.

Still. There is something in the pit of his stomach, a knot of anxiety that’s being dampened by the morphine. He really can’t put his finger on it and it’s completely forgotten when the doctor and nurse finally come to attend to him.

This clinic doesn’t ask questions. They’re in the downtown of Los Santos, so of course they don’t. They get the knife out of him. They get him hooked up to an IV and blood transfusion and a few hours later, Elyse is getting his release papers signed so she can get him back into the car. He’s ferried over in a wheelchair, one pant leg cut off at the crease of his thigh and hip. He’s still a little foggy from the painkillers, and he reclines his seat back as far as he can go. Elyse gets a blanket out from the trunk and throws it over his lap.

“Ready?” she asks as she buckles him in securely and gets herself fixed up.

He makes a sound and closes his eyes.

* * *

James presented as an alpha early, when he was twelve. Three years earlier than some of his classmates, those who did present. And from twelve to seventeen he grew up fast and aggressively. Nearly ate his poor mother out of house and home. And also caused some other issues when he realized he had a short fuse and too much energy to do anything about. Sports were too expensive, and he had a tendency of getting into fights with the other kids at school.

Then he discovered the world of the work out room at his high school and spent a lot of time there after school when his mother was working. He grew out of his gangly teen self and packed on enough muscle for his gym teacher to take notice and help him get set up in wrestling practices.

He was an overly aggressive alpha for his age. He’s mellowed out since then, but the lack of control he felt over his own actions and body would persist into his twenties and now thirties.

He knows society often favours alphas. A little too much in some corners of the world. They’re supposed to be the dashing heroes and knights in shining armour. Offering up superior skill and brawn whenever the situation calls for it. But James knows he’s not like this. That’s not his strong suit. He’s energetic. He’s quick with his hands and the rest of his body. But he doubts himself. He doubts his mind and his ability to take charge. Because he knows his weaknesses. On his own, he’s great. But as soon as someone he cares about deeply is there with him, he can’t focus on the task at hand. All he can think about is keeping them safe because that’s what alphas do. They’re responsible for their mates and by extension their pack’s safety. If he can’t do that, then what good is he, really?

It’s why he’s just fine with being muscle for Gunhaus. He’s good at that. It’s the one thing he knows.

When he was starting his twenties, he didn’t think he’d settle down with anyone. Omegas were the furthest thing from his mind at that point. He’d only met a handful in his life, and he didn’t trust himself to be what they wanted or needed, so he didn’t enter into relationships with them.

Then he met Elyse and his entire worldview shifted.

Elyse is a beta. She’s blonde and petite, but she’s quick. She loves how to box—it’s actually how they met, at a boxing ring where James was trying to blow off some steam. They got to talking and a few weeks later decided to go out for coffee afterwards.

They married each other because they knew they’d met their other half. Elyse was calm and rational. She knew how to assess a situation from afar before deciding the best course of action, which is why Bruce extended an offer for her to join their rag-tag crew of two-now-three.

They married each other because James knew there would be no one else for him. No one else who understood him. Who made him want to better himself and temper his control. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for Elyse and he thanks whoever is out there for the chance of meeting her and marrying her.

_In sickness and in health._

* * *

The sun is just starting to come up now. Elyse had stopped the car in a Walmart parking lot so they could sleep a bit before they needed to move out. By now the pain killers have worn off and all Elyse can get from the pharmacy when it opens is some basic off the shelf stuff. It’ll work.

“You feeling okay?” she asks, laying a hand on his forehead to feel for a fever.

He only feels clammy. Not sick, which is good. He probably just needs to overload on electrolytes and carbs. Elyse is already a step ahead of him and hands him a vitamin water.

“Everyone else?” he asks quietly.

“Still the same. Bruce and Matt are safe. Lawrence is going to be at the safehouse within the hour. Adam’s still lying low, but he’s been checking in every hour so he should be fine.”

James nods. That knot is starting to grow now. He feels on edge. Two of his mates are out there and he can’t do anything to keep them safe. It makes him feel rotten.

“Hey.” Elyse’s fingers reach under James’s neck to give him a quick scratch. “They’re okay. We’ll be okay. Now let’s get back on the road.”

She gives his neck a light squeeze, but it doesn’t leave him feeling boneless and loose like it usually does. It leaves him feeling sour when she pulls her hand back and starts the car.

* * *

When James first started working with Bruce—mostly by lifting cars for the chop shop—he didn’t know that it would turn into a full time gang operation. It started out with him and Bruce, and then when he married Elyse it became a three person operation. When they started getting more jobs, Bruce brought with him an old friend—Matt, a quiet, reserved alpha who could certainly hold his own and had more than enough patience for everyone.

James sniffed him out right away. He had a pretty good nose for these sorts of things, and he’s embarrassed to admit that he felt threatened by Matt being there. For a long time, James was the alpha of the group. An alpha and two betas. No one fucked with them when James made himself known. But with Matt here, there was a shift in the dynamic of their little pack. James suddenly had to make room for this new alpha, this new alpha that Bruce trusted unwittingly and always asked advice from. That had been James’s position once and it took a long time for him to pull his head out of his ass and realize Matt wasn’t a threat.

“I get it,” he said when James finally brought up the courage to talk to him about it. “You had this thing going with them for a while. And now it’s not _Three’s a Company_ but more like—“

“A slightly better version of _Seinfeld_?”

Matt grinned. “Maybe. I like to think that maybe we’re a little less self-serving than they are, but we didn’t choose crime because we wanted to help people.”

“Hey, only one more and we’ll have an _It’s Always Sunny_ set up.”

“Does that mean you’re willing to let me stay in your pack here?”

“It’s not . . .” James wanted to deny him. It wasn’t a pack. Not in the traditional sense, but when he thought about it more closely, he realized that yeah, it had the makings of a pack. Bruce, despite being a beta, was definitely the pack ‘alpha.’ Everyone respected him and listened to him. He had the final say for everything and James never once tried to ‘alpha’ his way into a leading position.

“Yeah, okay. Maybe it is. I just get nervous. Other alphas put me on edge. I’ve never been able to get . . . a handle on it.”

Matt nodded. “I get it. Especially in this trade. You’re always on edge. But listen. I’m here to shoulder the burden. Especially for Bruce. You let me know if I’m stepping on your toes, okay?”

James nodded and they were able to put the awkwardness behind them. Matt fit right in with the rest of them and he was a good match for Bruce, offering calm consultation on some of his larger plans and getting James to fulfill them. It was a good dynamic, but then came Lawrence.

* * *

They get to the safe house a little after noon. James waits in the car while Elyse gets out, goes to knock at the door and ensure that it’s safe. That Matt and Bruce haven’t been compromised in anyway. When the coast is clear, Bruce comes down to help James out of the car and into the house. A moderate suburban hellhole with beige and neutral colours. It’s too crisp for his liking, but it’ll keep them safe for the time being.

“Didn’t even stop to get crutches, did you?” Bruce says.

“No time.” He winces as Bruce helps him up the steps, hobbling all the way into the living room and onto the wide couch where he can prop up his leg. The few steps he’s taken have winded him, and he cautiously looks down to his bandaged thigh. He’s been spotting but it’s not heavy. He hasn’t torn his stitches.

“Any word from Adam and Lawrence?” Elyse asks.

“Not recently,” Bruce says, seeing that there’s a pillow under James’s leg and behind his head to keep him comfortable. “Lawrence should be here soon though. Last he said he was a few blocks out. No word on Adam’s whereabouts.”

James looks up at him. “Adam’s missing?”

“Not missing. Just quiet. He can take care of himself.”

James knows that, but he can’t help but worry. In his current condition, he wouldn’t even be able to protect Adam from anything.

 _God,_ he wishes Lawrence were here. He could always make everything seem so rational and put things into perspective for James. It’s what made them work so well together.

It all boils down to he’s hurt and wants his mates and there’s nothing he can do to fix that situation, so he curls up on the couch as best he can to just try and ignore everything going on around him.

* * *

Lawrence was a piece that James couldn’t fit into their puzzle. The crew, Gunhaus as it had been named, was doing well, but there were getting into more complicated territory. They needed someone good with tech and Bruce knew a guy who knew a guy and then along came Lawrence.

Another alpha as it turned out.

James caught his scent immediately. It was spicier than Matt’s, but then again Matt was rather subdued in that department. Lawrence was something else. Lawrence turned heads in any room he entered. He spoke with confidence. He was very knowledgeable on a broad range of topics and he boxed in his down time. He had the build for it. A solid torso and chest, well-muscled thighs, and a good set of arms on him. He didn’t have James’s speed and quickness, but he could hold his own.

And just like with Matt, James was set on edge.

“James, I want to introduce you to Lawrence,” Bruce said. “He’s going to be taking care on the security systems for our next job. I want you to brief him on the set up.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said and held out his hand. James hesitated only for a fraction of a second before shaking his hand. He had a ridge of callouses across his palm. Deadlift callouses James called them.

“You too,” he said, looking back down at his schematics as Lawrence took a seat, pulled out a laptop from his bag and got to work.

He kept their relationship purely work professional. Meaning he said hello and goodbye and was all manner of polite if distant and cold. He always found he was raising his shoulders whenever Lawrence walked behind him. He was always attuned whenever he set foot in the room. He hated that he was so aware of Lawrence.

Meanwhile Elyse adored him. She’d talk a fair bit about him in the early days, sizing him up in her own way, but Lawrence was kind to the others in the crew. He’d always offer to go out and pick up food and drinks for them on long nights. Not only was he skilled in tech, he wasn’t a bad shot with a gun either and he knew his way behind the wheel. He was a good jack-of-all-trades character and the crew needed that, but it still didn’t help James with his feelings of jealousy.

He got along well with all of them. Bruce, Matt, Elyse. They all had their special moments with him and James wouldn’t say he was feeling like he was being replaced—logically he knew that wasn’t the case; he just couldn’t think that way. But he was feeling _jealous._ And envy wasn’t a good look on him.

He started taking unnecessary risks, pushing himself physically and mentally. That’s when he started getting hurt. More scrapes and bruises. Taking higher jumps from vantage points. And then, when it came to a head, he got hit by a security guard’s car. It was a light bump, he said. Just bounced off the hood of the car.

(Meanwhile Omar, their new on call medic, diagnosed him with bruised ribs and a grade two concussion.)

“You knew it was reckless, and you still did it,” Elyse said and she sounded so disappointed. He hated when she did. It made him feel sour on the inside. “All you had to do was hunker down and wait and they would’ve passed you by.”

He was stuck in bed on his back. Bruised ribs were nothing to mess around with. He couldn’t even curl up and try to hide from the world like this. “I know,” he said. It was all he could say.

“I want to try and help you,” she said. “Something’s gotten under your skin.”

He couldn’t say it was Lawrence. He knew she wouldn’t berate him or anything. He just couldn’t put it to words and have it make any rational sense.

“Are you in a rut?” she then asked, softer this time because she knew how James felt about his ruts.

(tl;dr they sucked.)

It would explain a lot about his behaviour, so he just decided to roll with it.

Turns out, a few days later, his rut did hit. Coupled with pain killers and copious amounts of electrolytes, James hunkered down for the two days he’d crash out. Ruts were like the opposites of heats. Where omegas felt a lot during their heats, alphas crashed out during their ruts. Several hormone crashes where everything bottomed out and the alpha was just meant to rest. James liked being on his own during a rut. He didn’t feel like doing much of anything during that time. He could take medication for it. Something to balance out the adrenaline crash, but they always left him feeling slightly weird afterwards.

Elyse would leave him be during this time. She would hover, but she discovered pretty quickly how non-responsive James could be during a rut. Two days of scattered sleep and walking around the apartment like a ghost. He had no appetite for anything those two days, but when he came out of it, he’d take a long shower, make a protein shake, and head to the gym for a long workout.

Only this time, his rut was interrupted. During the middle of the day, James was aware of some voices down the hall. One being Elyse and one he didn’t immediately recognized. They faded away and he eventually drifted off as well. He jolted when he became aware of somebody stalking the bedroom. He rolled over, saw Lawrence pacing in the hallway outside the bedroom. Lawrence looked in and their eyes met.

“Where’s Elyse?” he asked because he wanted to ignore Lawrence’s presence as much as possible.

“She went out for groceries. I came by to see how you were doing and she said I could stick around.”

Lawrence was cautiously hovering at the bedroom door, unsure if he could come into James’s den.

James only ever allowed one person into his den: Elyse. She was the only one who could comfort him when he was like this, even if he scorned most touch and affection.

“I’m worried about you,” Lawrence said and the honesty in his voice struck James oddly. “All of us are.”

“And _you_ decided to come solve the case, Sherlock?” He liked to use sarcasm and mockery when he was vulnerable. He knew this about himself, but thankfully Lawrence didn’t bring any attention to it.

“I just wanted to check in on you. I know what it can be like. That feeling in the pit of your stomach. That emptiness.”

James felt his hackles rise as Lawrence came closer. He kept his body posture small and unassuming. Relaxed. Clearly, he knew he was in James’s den and was already on thin ice. But he was still coming closer and James didn’t know what his endgame was.

He shrunk back on the bed.

“I know it’s hard to think rationally like this,” he said. “But trust me when I say it’s easier when someone else is here with you.”

“Elyse,” he bit out. He had Else. He always did. She always looked out for him.

“I know. And she’s great. She’s a good friend and I can only imagine how good of a partner she’d be. But there’s just some things she won’t be able to understand. And I’m here to offer a helping hand.”

James couldn’t read the situation or foresee where it’d be going. But he felt a growl lodge itself in his throat when Lawrence crowded over him and then—

— _b_ _it the back of his neck._

His bones turned to jelly in seconds. He felt his eyes close slowly and a warmth spread through him. When the pressure on his neck abated, he heard Lawrence move away.

“I’ll explain more later. Just sleep for now.”

And so he slept.

* * *

The sound of Lawrence's voice is what gets him to wake up and open his eyes. He's somewhere off and to the left, nearer James's head than his feet. He can smell him, that's for sure. He rolls onto his back, careful not to jostle his leg, and cranes his head up to see Lawrence.

"How you feeling, champ?" He looks ragged. He's wearing his glasses, not his contacts. His hair isn't neatly combed over. His clothes are rumpled and stained.

"Better than you look," he says, stretching his arms above his head, and dropping a hand to feel against his thigh gently. "When'd you get here?"

"Not long ago. You were fast asleep. How's the leg?"

"Still together. I'll probably be off for a few weeks."

"At least."

"Knowing you and Adam _and_ Elyse, I won't be able to get away with anything."

At the mention of Adam, Lawrence's face turns somber for a moment. Ah. So he's not here yet. James turns his gaze back to the ceiling, ignoring the throb in his leg.

"James," Lawrence says and there's an edge to it. James can hear it, but Lawrence isn't laying on his pack alpha status particularly thick. He's just letting James know that it's there and he will use it if he thinks it's in James's best interests.

He hears Lawrence drop down on the floor next to him before he sees him. There's a hand on his bicep and in his hair.

"I can't _do_ anything," James says tersely. "I _fucked_ it up again."

"You didn't. You kept Adam safe."

"Just so he would be forced to go out on his own. With half the LSPD on our asses." He sniffles wetly. The scene plays out in his head. The boundary alarms going off, scrambling to get their gear and _leave._ The SWAT bursting in, tear gas cannisters, the general confusion.

And then finding Adam being threatened with a rifle pointed at him. Hands in the air, stock still. And that primal side in James taking over. Rushing forward to take the false police informant surprise. Brandishing his knife. Tackling the other to the floor. The tousle between James and the other until the knife was _in his leg._ And then a shot, followed by another, catching the informant in the bulletproof armor of their chest, enough to incapacitate them. Adam pulling, getting James to his feet, getting him outside to where Elyse was waiting with the car. James _in_ the car but Adam _not_ following.

He had to jump forward because he couldn't stand to see Adam, his partner, his lover, _his omega_ in a dangerous position like that. He hates how he can lose control over himself like that. In the heat of the moment.

"James, look—look at me." James does because he cannot deny Lawrence. "I know it's hard. What we went through _is hard._ But you didn't fuck things up. You kept Adam safe. I know you feel like you're out of control in moments like that, but you're not. Not in the ways you're afraid of."

James is afraid. He's always afraid he'll take things too far, that his overprotectiveness will stifle Adam's spirit and turn him away.

"I would've made the same decision," Lawrence adds. "Right now he's safe."

"But he's not _here_."

"No, but he got out just like the rest of us. We need to let go and trust that he'll be all right. I know that's hard, but you need to trust me."

_Trust me._

There are two things James are sure of in this world. That he loves Adam and that he trusts Lawrence.

* * *

James woke to an ache in his neck. He heard someone breathe deeply behind him and he looked over his shoulder to see Lawrence propped up in the bed beside him, sat on top of the bed covers with one of Elyse's magazines in his hands. When Lawrence turned his face towards him, James stretched out on the bed. It felt as if his rut had quieted, his bones like molasses. He felt the back of his neck and he felt the impression of an alpha's bite, teeth indentations and the raised skin that would come from such a bite.

An alpha's bite could happen to anyone. And while they were certainly less taboo than they used to be (usually seen as something only belonging to mates), an alpha's bite was meant to instill tranquility and security in anyone. Alpha, beta, or omega, it was a sign that wasn't meant to be taken lightly. It was a serious commitment between the alpha who laid the bite and the one who carried it.

For Lawrence, someone James didn't know quite well enough, to lay a bite on him like that meant a lot. In some way Lawrence was saying he cared for James and wanted to be his support when Elyse couldn't.

"Sleep well?" Lawrence asked. James didn't reply at first. "I'm sorry I had to do it like that. Normally I prefer my partners be on the same page as me before I jump into something like that."

"Sitting up in bed with me while I'm in a rut or biting me?"

"Both."

James turned slowly onto his other side to stare at Lawrence's hip. "Why did you do it?"

"I care about you. More than I thought I ever would, but there's something about you that draws me in. I gave you the bite because I wanted to have you relax, forget about the rut for a while. I've done it for some alphas before and a handful of omegas. This can mean nothing if you'd like. We can let it fade and if you want, I can help you out with just your ruts. I just want to give you the option that you're not alone in this."

James knew he wasn't alone. It wasn't like he was the only alpha of the group. Matt was there too, but he could see where Lawrence was going with this. Matt kept things strictly professional when at work and he wasn't the loudest alpha in the room. He preferred to step back and survey quietly before injecting his opinion. Lawrence seemed to be more hands on than him.

And maybe that was what James needed.

"I worry about not being able to control myself. Like I'm always just on the edge of losing it and hurting someone."

"You won't. You have more self-restraint than you know. I've seen you work, James. You're incredible at it."

James felt himself flushing and it wasn't from the rut. "I'd like to try something."

"We'll go at your pace."

It was a new dynamic for the both of them to figure out. They both explained themselves to Elyse and James and her both told Lawrence that their relationship was an open one and that Lawrence was welcome to stay as long as he'd like. They worked things out from there. For the most part, it remained mostly professional. Just two alphas looking out for each other before evolving into something more.

Rough kisses after a successful run when the adrenaline was pumping. Patching each other up after near misses. When Lawrence was in a rut, James was sure to return the favor and offer him support, see that he was okay. Life was beginning to balance itself out and just when James thought he had a good understanding of everything going on, Bruce brought someone new into the crew.

"This is Adam. He's our new lookout."

Adam was a tall and broad man with dark hair and a stubbled beard. He was quiet and reserved when they first met, and James could barely catch his scent. Maybe he was covering something. When he asked Bruce what he was, he said alpha and it struck James odd at first that Adam was an alpha. He seemed more beta than anything. But James knew that introducing a fourth alpha to the group might be an issue and he didn't know how to respond to it.

At least this time he had Lawrence to help guide him along.

* * *

James watches rather amusedly as Lawrence bustles around the room much to his and Elyse's chagrin. She's learning against the door frame as Lawrence wedges a pillow under James's injured leg to elevate it.

"A bit overboard don't you think?" James says, smiling rather brightly as Lawrence stops to survey his work.

"You can't be too careful."

"You gonna jump in, 'Lyse?" he asks and she shakes her head.

"I think your boyfriend has a handle on it."

She seems exhausted. Of course, she got him through the hospital on her own and now that they're safe she can finally let go and let someone else take over for her.

"Why don't you go crash out for a while?" Lawrence suggests. "I got this." He waves a hand to gesture at all of James.

She nods. "I think I might. I'll take one of the rooms upstairs. Let me know if you need anything, and James." He looks to her. "No testing your strength on that leg."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

She gives a look to Lawrence before leaving.

"Need anything?" Lawrence asks. "A drink? Something to eat?"

"Yeah, _a drink_ would be nice."

Lawrence gives him an exasperated look "Don't push it." He kisses James on the forward before fetching him just a plain glass of water and some painkillers. He stays with him, gets set up on the bed while James closes his eyes and tries to ignore the twisting feeling in his stomach of _Adam not being here._ Then, as if reading his mind, Lawrence lays a heavy hand on the back of his neck and _squeezes_ just enough to make James's mind melt for him to forget all his problems.

* * *

Adam was a strange alpha.

James was good at reading people. He could pick up quirks and ticks easier than most and could understand how a person was feeling and how that might influence their future actions. It was a good skill to have in this line of work.

And whenever he tried to read Adam, he always came to the same conclusion that he was just a very strange alpha. He didn't have a strong scent about him. It was rather muted like Matt's. In the weeks since he joined the crew, he was quite reserved, more so than Matt even. It was like he was still trying to find his place, but he was doing it so in a very non-alpha way. He wasn't trying to assert himself. He wasn't going forward and asking deep-diving questions into what they were doing. He took everything in with silence as Bruce would lay out plans. He liked to be in the midst of all of them when they were discussing things, not hovering on the edges like Lawrence or Matt liked to do. He was very much not an alpha.

But he also wasn't a beta. He wasn't steady like Bruce, who was always ready to call someone on their bullshit and had the steadiest hand out of all of them. And he wasn't like Elyse who was always there with a good dose of reality and kept James on his toes.

And he certainly wasn't an omega. After their first tousle with another crew, Adam had come out with fists flying, a neat fighter’s stance where he held his fists raised and close to his chest. He clearly knew what he was doing and didn't back down. He could hold his own and didn't shy away from any loud and busy scenes they would find themselves entering.

Adam was an enigma. But as James started to grow more comfortable around him, he found he was a very welcome enigma.

They first time they kissed was a complete accident. They had just gotten out of a daring car chase, driving off in Adam's suped up Mustang with Adam behind the wheel. He was in total control of the car. He could take sharp corners and could anticipate the next move the police might make before catching them. He drove fast, but not recklessly, and he was so in control that James was, admittedly, turned on by it all.

When they were safe, Adam took the keys out the ignition and sat back in his seat. He turned his head towards James and before he could even get a word out, James brought their lips together in a harsh and bruising kiss. Adam responded positively by threading his fingers in James's hair and pulling just tight enough to entice James further.

They didn't have sex, but when they both came down from the chase high, they had reclined their seats and were staring at each other across the gap between them.

"Been a while since I was kissed like that," Adam admitted.

"I'm always up for a rerun," James said with a smirk that got a soft smile from Adam.

He licked his swollen lips. "I don't want anyone to feel like I'm intruding."

"You wouldn't be." James reached over to drift his fingers over the back of Adam's hand. "We're open here. Whatever you want, how much you want. I'm here for you."

It took a while for him to respond. "I'm new to . . . this."

"Alpha on alpha? It's not uncommon. I've been around the block before."

"Not, not exactly." Before James could even think further on what Adam said, Adam changed the subject. "We should get back before the others get worried." He moved his seat back into the right position and James followed suit.

James can't believe he didn't see it then. But then again Adam never acted the way he expected an omega might. He postured as an alpha out in public and on the job and comfortably blended himself between all of them as an omega. He balanced himself well and in turn helped James balance himself out.

* * *

Then he wakes, the light in the room has changed. It's softer, more orange, indicating mid to late afternoon at least. He turns his head and sees Lawrence asleep next to him, hair mused, one hand up by his head and the other over his stomach. There are footsteps across the carpet that truly catch his attention. Someone's standing at the closet, putting clothes away neatly. Hanging what needs to be hung and folding the rest.

He catches a whiff and immediately he knows it's _Adam._ Before he can even get his name out, Adam turns around as if knowing James is awake and comes to the edge of the bed. He's smiling and James is reaching up to touch him and Adam leans into his hand.

"When did you get in?" he breathes, voice rough from sleep.

"Not long ago. Had to finish some things up. Get around," he says. "Picked up a few things since we're staying here 'til the heat dies down. Then I came in, unloaded the car, got Lawrence to sleep, checked in on Elyse, saw Bruce to his bed, and made sure Matt was good. Then I came down here to put some clothes away while you two were sleeping."

James thought Adam might be more subdued, more run down than he is now. But this is Adam in his _prime._ It doesn't really hit James until now that he's been seeing Adam as his omega self for years now. Because this is something Adam has always done.

If they've ever had to lie low or if they were strictly in hiding, Adam would always be the one who flitted between everyone, made sure they were getting what they needed. He kept them together during some very long nights, and now here he is again. He went out of his way to bring creature comforts to this empty safehouse so they'd feel comfortable. Bring in their scents to make it more like a home, more like their pack has settled. It’ll make it easier for people to rest and heal.

He's so considerate for everyone else around him, so very much omega but in his own way. Where he plays his cards close to his chest because those are the parts of him he wants to protect and show only to a select few. To those of his pack. James will always appreciate how much Adam trusts him, trusts _them._ Because that’s what this boils down to. It’s trust. Both ways.

“Need anything more?” Adam asks, smoothing his hands over the blanket on James’s body.

“Just you,” he says, hooking his fingers into the collar of his shirt and trying to pull him closer. Adam snickers which gets James to laugh which then wakes Lawrence.

“James, you should be sleeping,” he says without even opening his eyes.

“I _would_ if Adam would just _get into bed._ ”

“Okay,” Adam says. “I’ll get in from the other side though. No way am I going to be responsible for you tearing your stitches.”

He goes to the other side and slides over Lawrence until he’s in the middle and Lawrence can shuffle close to him and close his eyes again. Adam tilts his head towards James and gently brushes the errant curl that rests against his forehead.

It’s good, this thing they have between. They’ve managed to find a balance and come out on top. James wouldn’t give up any of them for the world. Lawrence. Adam. Elyse. The pack. He knows who he is and where he needs to be, and right now this is his place and it’s pretty good to know that.


End file.
